On Love & Life (if I may be so bold)

I have often written about these two topics as one, but some would say my view of them is naive. This opinion, usually formed by those closest to me, is based on the simple fact that I married my first love and was married for over 20 years. Or they see my child-like nature and forget I am also a man. A therapist put it to me this way once, “You were 18 when you were married, so all of your adult emotions were not fully formed. You were children, and you grew up as you had to, but ultimately you were children… so you stayed children”

I would say the above is true up to about 15%. My human emotions may not have been fully formed. But my spiritual emotions were beyond. I cannot speak for how it was for anyone else. But I can speak for me. People often forget that in many ways, past the age of 11 I was far older than most. My supposed naivete may stem from returning from a different plane of existence (when I drowned) and being constantly amazed at how we as humans do not see how vast this all is, and how short our time here is. So I smell the flowers, I pose questions, I live. I create. I immerse. I want to eat life. Devour it as the most beautiful thing we could have ever been given to eat and it is short supply. In fact, I will go as far as to say that I through drowning was given the most purposeful solution to what humans should be doing. Right now. Because of what I know.. But I digress. That I can write about later.

But even when I speak of the drowning.. I have to admit that before the drowning, I already displayed an uncanny ability to listen to adults and ponder their world. I was not like other children. My migraines kept me confined. I had to entertain myself. So my entertainment came from listening to music and their conversations. Love was often a topic. So was this a factor? Yes. But again, I state emphatically that I came back from death changed. I knew something, and what I knew I could never explain. But I was given a secret to things. Or rather, I was given the clues to seek it out and reveal it.

My romanticism is something I refuse to give up (stubborn perhaps, but I hold my ground). Because I know what is real. I know what love is. What it really is. It’s rather simple really. It’s sharing. Sharing it all. The purpose of this is to teach us how the seed of a thing becomes the thing. How seemingly unintelligent things create something far more complex then the original organisms. How the universe formed and made this so for a reason. To sustain itself. And how God split into parts of the whole into googols of parts unknown to each other, to experience the creation on every level possible individually. How it is like a game of hide and seek, with each form finding itself in another form, and each responding by sharing itself with the other form. This is the highest form of consciousness.

I am not naive. I know that there are opposing forces at work. The seemingly unfair advantage is that the opposing force is like a radio blaring really loud music, easy to pick up on. An opposing force that uses indifference, selfishness, fear and anger, pride.. as its primary content. And the other side? The side I came from? We are quiet, light, the station can barely be heard at all. You have to work to listen to it. You see, with the opposing force, you are never going to change the universe, or the world. You may affect it, maybe even destroy parts of it, or lives.. but you will never change it. That loud energy can only be just that, loud. To keep us away from the other. With the quiet energy.. it is quiet because once learned, earned.. it has the power to shape the universe itself. So it has to be quiet. It was designed this way.  Think of the word ‘evolution’. It implies gradual change, subtle. It cannot happen overnight, with impatience. It has to start nearly from nothing. Light is like that. It starts from the tiniest of sparks. But it can affect us even at that level.

Love is our way of learning to listen to that quiet station. Love is the highest form of sharing there is. Not everyone does this correctly, I’ll give you that. Even I didn’t. But to love someone for who they are, even though they may differ from you because you want to give them YOU. That is one definition. To share everything one is with one you are not but knowing you are part of oneness is what feeds the universe. Why? Think about it. The universe / God loves us and shares the wisdom of countless ages with us, within us, and did so enough that he voluntarily forgot who he/she was so as to not take over in the experience of remembering through each particle of existence.

And while I am not an avid religious person, nor do I believe everything written about God.. this one phrase always resonates with me. When Moses asks God his name.. and God answers, “I am that I am.” No one really understands the simplicity of what was revealed. Read it the correct way, meaning decoded….

Part of everything. Everything being part (Is there not a reason why the universe is made up of ‘particles’ ? Particles of what exactly?)

Now read the phrase my way…

I am that, I am.